The paperwork my primary care doctor handed me when she confirmed my pregnancy had two words on it that, albeit temporarily, sucked the joy right out of my pregnancy.
Now, I’m a very visually oriented person, and I was still kinda wrapping my head around the fact I had conceived, despite health troubles and despite being told for years that I would have an uphill battle with conceiving, so those words hit me much in the same way that “you ARE a diabetic” hit me almost 9 years ago – like a shitton of bricks.
And she explained that it’s more a precautionary thing due to the challenging disposition of Diabetes, that I didn’t need to fear I was going to lose this baby I was finally blessed enough to conceive. I’m sure she saw the look on my face, and she offered nothing but kind, empowering words.
And later, in sharing these terrifying words with my best friend, she talked me off the ledge more by sharing that it was in large part for insurance purposes – so doctors and medical facilities would have carte blanche to do whatever is necessary instead of having to jump through the hoops and red tape insurance companies like to toss in your path.
And I’ll be honest, it did make me feel better, but those two words were gonna haunt me for a while.
And so it became my job to chill the eff out and do everything in my power to have a healthy pregnancy, effectively flippin’ those two words and that concept the bird.
Stressing about it could have led to the possibility of it becoming a self fulfilling prophecy, and I’m not here for that!
So yes, my pregnancy so far has definitely had its challenges and I have definitely had to reach DEEP within myself to keep my stress and my mindset in check… but in 6 months, that tiny (but mighty!) baby will be so worth it, and my new favorite example of how far I’ve come and how I can do hard things.
No ones saying to ignore your fears – you gotta feel ‘em to deal with ‘em – just don’t let them consume you 💕
Did anyone else have a high risk pregnancy?