Flashback Friday – WHY


The other night during a meeting, we were encouraged to revisit our WHY, and I’ll confess, it had been a while since I paid any attention to WHY I workout, WHY I eat sensibly, WHY I manage my stress and emotions, WHY I share all of that with you all…

I’d love to act like I just GREW UP and realized it’s time to take care of myself… but truthfully, there was something MAJOR propelling me into action.

The dreaded D word – Diabetes. (And yes, I DO still carry my original A1c around with me to remind myself how far I have come!)

Many people know that when I made an appointment with my primary care physician to get my blood sugars checked out after fairly alarming results at a work-sponsored health fair, I simply expected a stern “get your carb and candy habit under control”… I DID NOT expect to leave the office with a Diabetic diagnosis!

And so after that seemingly crippling information processed through my brain and my emotions, I sprang into action, because I’m a LOT of things, but PASSIVE isn’t one of them!

I plugged into LEARNING more about food and nutrition, I started doing workouts I ENJOYED – ones that left me feeling ENERGIZED, not annoyed, I plugged into a COMMUNITY of others just trying to be their best selves, and I made small but super MEANINGFUL changes to how I handle things mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

My ongoing challenge group and the community have played a HUGE role in keeping me accountable to healthy habits and I am so GRATEFUL for such a safe, uplifting, empowering place!

If YOU need that kind of love, motivation and support, we got you and would LOVE to have you; you are NEVER alone in anything you are dealing with, and we are ALWAYS better together!

You know where to find me 💕


Merry Kickmas!


Look, I’m gonna be honest… when we didn’t have power yesterday, one of my thoughts was definitely about “but I can’t miss my workout… I have a punny shirt I’ve waited months to wear!”

Plus there’s the whole stress relief, and the fact on a day I’m gonna pig out I •need• to move my body… so of course, it was a thought for sure!

So yeah, it’s been a rough couple of days, but in the end I’m GRATEFUL we even HAVE a home to power, and to heat (yeah our furnace started having issues basically the second the power fiasco got resolved 😳)

And I’m GRATEFUL that I have workouts and a capable body to help me work through the stressors of being a homeowner.

Merry Christmas 💕

GratiTuesday – Snugglebug Pups!


Yesterday, today, tomorrow… basically all day every day I am so incredibly grateful for this sweet babe and her snuggle-bug ways!

Whether she’s curled up next to me, resting her sweet chin on my stomach, draping a paw over my leg, nuzzled into my neck or full body sprawled on me, I live for her snuggles; I’m grateful for them and reminded how lucky we are to have such a sweet, loving pup!

She makes bad days good and good days even better and I couldn’t love her more! 💕🐾

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

No ones life is perfect.
No ones family is perfect.
No ones body is perfect.

But you are here. Your heart is beating. Your blood is flowing, and oxygen is enabling you to breathe.

So yes, there is always something to be grateful and thankful for. Use those as your base and build upon it!

I’m grateful and thankful for too many things to list so ill try to sum it up… I’m thankful for my life and the ability to live it, grateful for all the amazing people I’m blessed to have be a part of it, and truly honored to have so much love and laughter in my life. Happy thanksgiving all!

What’s something else YOU are thankful for?

Diabadass Life – Eye Health Edition!

I have way more than the standard number of health appointments.
And they are all usually way more complex than the norm, too.

This is part of managing Diabetes. This is part of doing what I can, when I can, how I can.

I have long said I don’t love all these appointments, or how invasive they can sometimes feel (I’m just being honest), and on occasion, it’s hard not to panic when things come back anything less than perfect and perfectly normal.

But I do love having this information at my disposal.
I do love that I have doctors who will explain things to me in terminology I understand, as someone who did NOT go to med school and someone who CAN get overwhelmed with technical jargon.
I do love that modern technology makes so much more possible; that the list of what we CAN’T do is basically shorter than what we CAN do.

And I do love that I have the means to take care of myself and my health.

I get it – health issues can be terrifying… but we are NEVER victims and we are NEVER powerless.

And THAT mindset is just as crucial as any other part of your treatment.

Attitude of Gratitude – Happy Veterans Day

I don’t like to think I can’t do something.

But I think most people know why I could never be a member of the military – for my safety and the safety of others, I think it’s painfully obvious that I couldn’t, with how poorly my ears function.

So as someone who has immense love and pride for her country and those who fight for it, I’m GRATEFUL to be able to show my love and support for the military on an every day basis, by showing up and bringing my absolute best efforts to my JOB!

Having been a Navy contractor in Newport for 11.5+ years now, I’ve worked with SO MANY amazing veterans and active duty military, and I consider it such an honor to put my pride and my talents to use for their use!

It’s all about perspective; maybe I can’t be in the military, but I can show my gratitude in other ways, so that’s what I do! 🇺🇸💕

GratiTuesday – Motivation

💕 GratiTuesday! 💕

Today’s Gratitude is for all of YOU!

I get so many messages on my stories, and uplifting comments on my posts, and those words really do mean so much!

There is a bit of a misconception that I am always motivated, and while I’m a self starter who truly loves crushing a good workout and the feelings associated with it, I’m also human and I do find myself in moments where outside motivation makes the difference!

Thank you 💕

Tuesday Thoughts – Curveball

((Feel no obligation to read this pretty lengthy post, but writing is cathartic to me!))

I snapped this pic mere minutes before the ultimate come down…

To understand why this past weekend and it’s turn of events was so painfully emotional for me, it might help to understand part of why I feel as passionately about Phish as I do.

Not everyone knows how and why I came to fall in love with Phish… the reasons are certainly plentiful…

They gave me hope following a very challenging time – a sudden, profound hearing loss – that I was still going to be okay, and I was still going to be able to enjoy music. I know, it seems SILLY to worry about, but it was real for me. Music is the great unifier, so at a time where I felt overwhelmingly “different”, the music kept me from feeling completely shut out.

While many of their songs are lyrically prominent, Phish has an equally impressive catalog of songs where the instrumentals are what shine; the jams, improvs, and zany little tangents you can just close your eyes and feel with every fiber of your being…

So as someone who can’t stand genericness, while I love them for their unique, goofy, off the cuff lyrics, I also love them for the tasty jams where my inability to always make out lyrics doesn’t matter. Again, they serve as some sort of great equalizer.

And I have spent countless hours listening, relistening and listening again. I have taught myself the lyrics to be able to sing along with an impressive number of songs for someone teetering on the line of deafness.

And every time I see them perform, every time I am in the moment and enjoying the music, I am always GRATEFUL that my hearing loss didn’t extend just a little further, rendering me unable to fully enjoy the music. It’s actually really powerful and I really do send up some gratitude for this daily.

Outside of the music… the connections, the community, the reunions, the vibe, the friends who travel from near and far, the ‘strangers’ that instantly become your family, the moments and memories you make with your crew, the escape from the sometimes stressful realities of this beautiful little ride called LIFE… yeah, you look forward to that!

In this setting, all truly seems right, and that’s not a feeling I experience often in today’s world, but there, ensconced in a community of love, light and positive vibes… it just all feels RIGHT. If it makes me selfish to want those moments, then I’m selfish and I’m okay with that.

Live music – festival or not – feeds my soul. It lights me up and elevates my whole being. When the world works hard to jade you, the music is what keeps me from falling too far down that rabbit hole. The vibe of “we’re all in this together” reminds me, as someone who has spent a good chunk of her life feeling left out and isolated, that I’m not alone. You ALWAYS have phamily.

Those close to me tend to know how passionately I do everything that I do, and a weekend such as this was certainly not exempt from that, so to be there, to be set up, experiencing the excitement and beginnings of what had promised to be an amazing weekend, to then have it pulled out from under us at the 11th hour was ROUGH. It doesn’t MATTER that we knew it was the right decision based on health and safety. Disappointment is disappointment.

There is simply no way to properly describe the brutal descent from such a vibrant, high-on-life high to such a silent, empty-feeling low. There was nowhere else for the intense emotions to go but out of my tear ducts.

To feel… to see… to hear the happy, noisy, delighted and excited vibe drop to crushing silence and people just wandering, dazed and confused, in disbelief, was brutal. The energy shift was UNREAL. We made the best of the time we had, because that’s what this community does, but there was a really sad, bummed out undertone.

The months of build up, planning, excitement, logistics… the anticipation. The wondering what we missed. The sadness for the boys – you know it kills them that the party they spent a year planning would now never see the light of day.

All the artwork, installations, experiences, memories… all that hard work that would never fully be seen and appreciated by 35-40k people. As a creationist myself, that’s just gut wrenching. Phish is well known for their attention to detail, and I was bummed not to be able to check it all out, as a detail-oriented soul myself.

Life is sometimes really tough, and this was something to look forward to; this was a bright light for me after some dim bulbs.

They put their heart and souls into this and you can’t help but feel for them.

Yet, as bummed as we all are, we all are sending up healing vibes to the residents of the area. We KNOW they are the priority. We all realize life goes on, Phish WILL play again, and this is now part of Phistory.

It’s more than okay to feel sad and disappointed – if you were able to get over this instantly, you probably weren’t going for the right reasons; just my .02!

As for the people saying “it’s just a concert; get over it”, I understand you may not get it; Phish is not for everyone, that much is clear. But have you never been excited for something? Would it not bum you out if it vanished into thin air?

There are few bands who have more of a dedicated, passionate following, THIS MANY years later. I am proudly one of them and have been since my freshman year of high school – I’ve seen them through their highs, I’ve seen them through their lows, and my heart hurts for them just as I know their hearts hurt for us.

I’m forever grateful to be part of this community 💕

But we’ll just keep swimming; there IS more Phish upstream 🐠