Diabadass Life

I cried today.

Happy, relieved, grateful, prideful tears.

My diabetic specialist came in during my appointment and was remarking at how perfect my numbers have been the last few weeks. She said she’s never really seen such steady, controlled numbers from a type 1, and she loves the variety of the nutritious foods I consume.

I don’t get much positive feedback regarding my diabetes whatsoever… not because my regular doctor is negative or anything, but because unfortunately, his praise was always followed by a ‘but…’ because my numbers have NEVER reflected my efforts, ever.

So he would encourage me, and when he’d listen to my eating and lifestyle habits he would always say I’m doing everything right… but again, my numbers never reflected that, which is honestly one of the more frustrating things I’ve experienced; this continuous, years-long hampster wheel loop of hard work but getting nowhere.

So today, to get such good news, kind words and sweet praise without a ‘but’, it went right to my heart, it sung to my feelings… it felt SO good.

It was a VERY welcome boost, a feeling I’ve been chasing for some time now… not so much the praise, but more so the feeling of my Diabetes being controlled… that is a feeling that has eluded me for so many years… TOO MANY years.

So today, I cried. I fought them, but they slipped out. And my gratitude actually caused her to get misty eyed, too.

And I know, as she said, there will be elevated numbers with no rhyme or reason; no explanation, nothing I did or didn’t do… that’s just the relationship between diabetes and pregnancy hormones.

But now I know how to “fix” that; now I feel capable and {{sorta}} in control – it’s been forever since I felt that way! 💕

Advertisements

Monday Mood Boost – Gratitude Never Goes Out Of Style!

A while back, I shared my gratitude for my medical team, and mentioned we’ve added some new members…

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was gonna be seeing a high risk ob gyn, in addition to my regular endocrinologist, and he really wanted me to see a nutritionist too – not because my eating habits are poor, but because managing blood sugars with surging pregnancy hormones is VERY complex.

Now if you do some math, that’s a lot of appointments, and while I have some flexibility at work and can make up hours as necessary, that’s still a lot.

When my endo was reviewing my numbers, he felt it best I switch to the services of an ob gyn who specializes in Diabetic pregnancies at Maternal Fetal Medicine, and alongside that, I see two Diabetes specialists who get twice weekly blood sugars reports, and I see them plus my nutritionist every other week.

Yes, it’s a lot… but the beauty of this switch is that it’s become “one stop shopping” – all of these services are located in the same place and all happen at the same appointment, which in addition to being a lot more convenient, SIGNIFICANTLY helps my brain keep track – something I was struggling to do between the sheer number of appointments in varying locations and the very real concept of pregnancy brain (folks, it’s the realest. thing. ever.)

I’m where I need to be, for my health and the health and development of my baby, and while at first I was frustrated at the idea of switching to yet another doctor (I’ve certainly had no shortage of them in my life), I understood WHY the switch was best, and I remained open minded and willing to do what’s best for myself and my baby.

And still, I’m so grateful for this team – they empower me, encourage me, make me feel capable and confident (I had a rough beginning to my pregnancy as we struggled to get my blood sugars under control and that definitely caused some insecure moments…) and I’m just grateful to have such a solid team guiding me through one of the hardest, but also one of the most rewarding things I’ve gone through.

Gratitude never goes out of style 💕

Saturday Sweat – LUCKY

I know my St Patrick’s day workout shirt says LUCKY… but it should say blessed! It’s so cute I couldn’t resist.

I know I’m blessed and that’s why I’m soaking this whole pregnancy in – the challenges and all. It’s all part of a blessing this size.

I know SO many worthy men and women who are trying and trying and haven’t gotten their blessings YET, and my heart continues to go out to them as I send out baby blessings. I hold out faith it will happen for them, as it happened for me and so many others. I BELIEVE.

So today and all days, I will continue to feel so blessed and continue to spread that forward.

Adventures in Pregnancy – Outgrowing my clothing!

Today I packed up a couple of utility bags with work dress pants, workout bottoms, sports bras, and workout tank tops that are no longer comfortable to wear right now with my growing, changing body.

And this might get some eye rolls, but this is all so uncharted for me – I have basically stayed the same size for most of my teen/adult life and I was still able to fit into clothing I wore in high school (which was half my life ago…), so not fitting into stuff is a weird feeling for me. It isn’t a BAD feeling, it’s just a NEW feeling…

But this is absolutely THE BEST reason not to fit into my clothing, and so I am choosing to further EMBRACE and APPRECIATE this miracle, because it IS a miracle, and I AM grateful to be able to experience this.

And while I don’t expect my body to be exactly the same in the time after the baby, I do know that my habits and my lifestyle will afford me to get back to where I was, or close to where I was, and so I will happily pack these items away and make room for some maternity stuff now, and I will cross any other clothing bridges when I come to them.

Did you fit back into your pre-pregnancy clothing?

 

Adventures in Pregnancy – High Risk

The paperwork my primary care doctor handed me when she confirmed my pregnancy had two words on it that, albeit temporarily, sucked the joy right out of my pregnancy.

HIGH RISK.

Now, I’m a very visually oriented person, and I was still kinda wrapping my head around the fact I had conceived, despite health troubles and despite being told for years that I would have an uphill battle with conceiving, so those words hit me much in the same way that “you ARE a diabetic” hit me almost 9 years ago – like a shitton of bricks.

And she explained that it’s more a precautionary thing due to the challenging disposition of Diabetes, that I didn’t need to fear I was going to lose this baby I was finally blessed enough to conceive. I’m sure she saw the look on my face, and she offered nothing but kind, empowering words.

And later, in sharing these terrifying words with my best friend, she talked me off the ledge more by sharing that it was in large part for insurance purposes – so doctors and medical facilities would have carte blanche to do whatever is necessary instead of having to jump through the hoops and red tape insurance companies like to toss in your path.

And I’ll be honest, it did make me feel better, but those two words were gonna haunt me for a while.

And so it became my job to chill the eff out and do everything in my power to have a healthy pregnancy, effectively flippin’ those two words and that concept the bird.

Stressing about it could have led to the possibility of it becoming a self fulfilling prophecy, and I’m not here for that!

So yes, my pregnancy so far has definitely had its challenges and I have definitely had to reach DEEP within myself to keep my stress and my mindset in check… but in 6 months, that tiny (but mighty!) baby will be so worth it, and my new favorite example of how far I’ve come and how I can do hard things.

No ones saying to ignore your fears – you gotta feel ‘em to deal with ‘em – just don’t let them consume you 💕

Did anyone else have a high risk pregnancy?

Flashback Friday – WHY

•WHY?•

The other night during a meeting, we were encouraged to revisit our WHY, and I’ll confess, it had been a while since I paid any attention to WHY I workout, WHY I eat sensibly, WHY I manage my stress and emotions, WHY I share all of that with you all…

I’d love to act like I just GREW UP and realized it’s time to take care of myself… but truthfully, there was something MAJOR propelling me into action.

The dreaded D word – Diabetes. (And yes, I DO still carry my original A1c around with me to remind myself how far I have come!)

Many people know that when I made an appointment with my primary care physician to get my blood sugars checked out after fairly alarming results at a work-sponsored health fair, I simply expected a stern “get your carb and candy habit under control”… I DID NOT expect to leave the office with a Diabetic diagnosis!

And so after that seemingly crippling information processed through my brain and my emotions, I sprang into action, because I’m a LOT of things, but PASSIVE isn’t one of them!

I plugged into LEARNING more about food and nutrition, I started doing workouts I ENJOYED – ones that left me feeling ENERGIZED, not annoyed, I plugged into a COMMUNITY of others just trying to be their best selves, and I made small but super MEANINGFUL changes to how I handle things mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

My ongoing challenge group and the community have played a HUGE role in keeping me accountable to healthy habits and I am so GRATEFUL for such a safe, uplifting, empowering place!

If YOU need that kind of love, motivation and support, we got you and would LOVE to have you; you are NEVER alone in anything you are dealing with, and we are ALWAYS better together!

You know where to find me 💕

Merry Kickmas!

😉

Look, I’m gonna be honest… when we didn’t have power yesterday, one of my thoughts was definitely about “but I can’t miss my workout… I have a punny shirt I’ve waited months to wear!”

Plus there’s the whole stress relief, and the fact on a day I’m gonna pig out I •need• to move my body… so of course, it was a thought for sure!

So yeah, it’s been a rough couple of days, but in the end I’m GRATEFUL we even HAVE a home to power, and to heat (yeah our furnace started having issues basically the second the power fiasco got resolved 😳)

And I’m GRATEFUL that I have workouts and a capable body to help me work through the stressors of being a homeowner.

Merry Christmas 💕

GratiTuesday – Snugglebug Pups!

GratiTuesday!

Yesterday, today, tomorrow… basically all day every day I am so incredibly grateful for this sweet babe and her snuggle-bug ways!

Whether she’s curled up next to me, resting her sweet chin on my stomach, draping a paw over my leg, nuzzled into my neck or full body sprawled on me, I live for her snuggles; I’m grateful for them and reminded how lucky we are to have such a sweet, loving pup!

She makes bad days good and good days even better and I couldn’t love her more! 💕🐾