You know how on a plane, they tell you in the event of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first…?
Sometimes, I tend to care about stuff TOO much.
It’s not uncommon for me to put the feelings of others ahead of my own.
I would often so much rather avoid any confrontations or difficult conversations that I sit and stew, til the lid tends to boil over, and then I APOLOGIZE. Apologize for FEELING.
I am quick to excuse people, to act like I don’t deserve respect, basic human decency, or common courtesy.
But… all the personal development I have done over the years FINALLY clicked.
And I REALIZED…
I MATTER. My NEEDS matter. My FEELINGS matter.
And since how you treat yourself is how others treat you – there’s gonna be some changes up in here. I am an empathetic person, I am always willing to listen and help someone, but I will no longer be sacrificing my own feelings and my own wellbeing for that.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Trust me, I have tried, and tried, and tried. You can’t.
I don’t usually share these things but does this one not hit you RIGHT in all the feels? My goodness…
What’s a fond memory you have of Toys R Us?
Today’s wisdom is courtesy of the oh-so-fabulous Danielle LaPorte, and comes via my Desire Map Planner!
Many of us have our relationship to ambition and goal setting inside out. We’re chasing external stuff to do, have, and experience and hope that when we get there, we’ll feel awesome – and sometimes, we do. But too often, we really don’t.
Everything we do is driven by the desire to feel a certain way. Everything. You are not chasing the goal itself, you are chasing the feelings you hope attaining that goal will give you. So, knowing how you want to feel is the most potent clarity you can have. Generating those core desired feelings is the most powerful thing you can do with your life.
Be clear on your desired feelings, and then all of your goals are a means to create those feelings. It’s that simple. The foundation of a good relationship with intentions and goals is keeping in mind that the primary aim of setting and working toward them is to feel the way you most want to feel. The external things you want to have and experience are in service to your heart and soul.
Feeling good is the whole point and you get to define EXACTLY what “feeling good” means to and for you.
It’s your LIFE. It’s YOUR life.
What does feeling good mean to YOU?
I was chatting with a friend recently, and we were keepin’ it real (what, don’t judge – life is challenging sometimes, and being able to discuss things in a productive manner can be helpful!), and talking about feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. Both of these feelings can happen to anyone, and are valid feelings.
What’s important, is not to let them rule you. Some people prefer to sweep these things under the rug (I’m not trying to judge you, but in my experience, they tend to creep their way out eventually…), whereas I have been trying to let myself feel, and let myself heal.
This handy acronym is neat – and a nice reminder that like rainstorms, whatever emotions are crippling you will pass.
Monday’s CAN be a little crazy, I will admit it. Sometimes feelings can manifest themselves in a deep, dark way, and suddenly spill out all over the place. Lately this has happened to me a few times (mostly wedding-related), and while I find myself coping, I also find myself allowing myself to feel a sliver of frustration that I am letting these feelings, and this stress get to me. I know, it’s weird; I’m ADDING to the stress by stressing about the dang stress! Is that not insanity?!
I think my best course of action is to let myself feel them, and then just keep on truckin’, rather than beating myself up for letting something stressful actually stress me out. I mean I know, the audacity of me, right?!
I am often my own biggest critic, and that’s just detrimental to my health. It’s one thing to be constructively critical, but it’s another to get upset with yourself for allowing yourself to feel.
No more. While I can’t stop myself from stressing, I would be better off just continuing to deal with things the best way I know how rather than wasting precious energy criticizing myself for how I cope.