Diabadass Life

I cried today.

Happy, relieved, grateful, prideful tears.

My diabetic specialist came in during my appointment and was remarking at how perfect my numbers have been the last few weeks. She said she’s never really seen such steady, controlled numbers from a type 1, and she loves the variety of the nutritious foods I consume.

I don’t get much positive feedback regarding my diabetes whatsoever… not because my regular doctor is negative or anything, but because unfortunately, his praise was always followed by a ‘but…’ because my numbers have NEVER reflected my efforts, ever.

So he would encourage me, and when he’d listen to my eating and lifestyle habits he would always say I’m doing everything right… but again, my numbers never reflected that, which is honestly one of the more frustrating things I’ve experienced; this continuous, years-long hampster wheel loop of hard work but getting nowhere.

So today, to get such good news, kind words and sweet praise without a ‘but’, it went right to my heart, it sung to my feelings… it felt SO good.

It was a VERY welcome boost, a feeling I’ve been chasing for some time now… not so much the praise, but more so the feeling of my Diabetes being controlled… that is a feeling that has eluded me for so many years… TOO MANY years.

So today, I cried. I fought them, but they slipped out. And my gratitude actually caused her to get misty eyed, too.

And I know, as she said, there will be elevated numbers with no rhyme or reason; no explanation, nothing I did or didn’t do… that’s just the relationship between diabetes and pregnancy hormones.

But now I know how to “fix” that; now I feel capable and {{sorta}} in control – it’s been forever since I felt that way! 💕

Diabadass Life – Eye Health Edition!

I have way more than the standard number of health appointments.
And they are all usually way more complex than the norm, too.

This is part of managing Diabetes. This is part of doing what I can, when I can, how I can.

I have long said I don’t love all these appointments, or how invasive they can sometimes feel (I’m just being honest), and on occasion, it’s hard not to panic when things come back anything less than perfect and perfectly normal.

But I do love having this information at my disposal.
I do love that I have doctors who will explain things to me in terminology I understand, as someone who did NOT go to med school and someone who CAN get overwhelmed with technical jargon.
I do love that modern technology makes so much more possible; that the list of what we CAN’T do is basically shorter than what we CAN do.

And I do love that I have the means to take care of myself and my health.

I get it – health issues can be terrifying… but we are NEVER victims and we are NEVER powerless.

And THAT mindset is just as crucial as any other part of your treatment.

World Diabetes Day

I never wanted to be a part of this club.

And honestly? I still don’t.

But… I am. That’s the hand I was dealt.

I am a Diabetic.

No, not just because I ate candy. Not just because I enjoyed bagels and pasta. The only people who think that are the ignorant ones not battling Diabetes.

Today, on World Diabetes Day, I invite you to open your mind and perspective, stop judging/blaming Diabetics, and educate yourself – the disease is truly WAY MORE complex than your suggestions to “just eat less sugar”.

I assure you, if it were that easy, that’s EXACTLY what we would do.

Be the LIGHT, be the ENCOURAGER, be a source of SUPPORT and a beacon of HOPE… but please don’t be judgmental.

To all my fellow diabadasses, keep fighting the good fight – we are all stronger than we think!

Diabadass Life – Insulin Life

I am a lot of things, but patient is not one of my stronger characteristics.

I was resistant to insulin for such a long time, because the idea of more needles (doesn’t matter how skinny it is, sorry!) every day is honestly nauseating, but a little over a month ago I agreed to give it a try because the alternative was to continue doing everything mostly right, only to see no good changes in my numbers, only bad changes.

I obviously don’t have to tell you how defeating a feeling THAT was, so obviously I’d really rather not continue with such a vicious cycle.

So I agreed to try insulin. And if you asked me my ideal number yesterday when I got bloodwork done, a little over a month on insulin, it would be sitting comfortably at 6.2, down from 6.8… that would be ideal.

The result was not ideal, BUT… I do believe, and my doctor has reassured me 14 times over, that this is me on the right track; this is my body adjusting, transitioning, and stabilizing. He says this is normal, and I choose to believe the professional.

So while it’s UP to 7.2 from 6.8, it’s also a little unrealistic to expect everything to balance out in a months time. So here is where a little patience will do me well… this is a marathon, not a sprint!

My job right now is to keep up my healthy habits, keep the damn faith, and keep to my injections.

And so that’s what I will do. Because the alternative is STILL much less appealing than injections every day. That kinda mental roller coaster is not a ride I’d like to take again!