Diabadass Life

I cried today.

Happy, relieved, grateful, prideful tears.

My diabetic specialist came in during my appointment and was remarking at how perfect my numbers have been the last few weeks. She said she’s never really seen such steady, controlled numbers from a type 1, and she loves the variety of the nutritious foods I consume.

I don’t get much positive feedback regarding my diabetes whatsoever… not because my regular doctor is negative or anything, but because unfortunately, his praise was always followed by a ‘but…’ because my numbers have NEVER reflected my efforts, ever.

So he would encourage me, and when he’d listen to my eating and lifestyle habits he would always say I’m doing everything right… but again, my numbers never reflected that, which is honestly one of the more frustrating things I’ve experienced; this continuous, years-long hampster wheel loop of hard work but getting nowhere.

So today, to get such good news, kind words and sweet praise without a ‘but’, it went right to my heart, it sung to my feelings… it felt SO good.

It was a VERY welcome boost, a feeling I’ve been chasing for some time now… not so much the praise, but more so the feeling of my Diabetes being controlled… that is a feeling that has eluded me for so many years… TOO MANY years.

So today, I cried. I fought them, but they slipped out. And my gratitude actually caused her to get misty eyed, too.

And I know, as she said, there will be elevated numbers with no rhyme or reason; no explanation, nothing I did or didn’t do… that’s just the relationship between diabetes and pregnancy hormones.

But now I know how to “fix” that; now I feel capable and {{sorta}} in control – it’s been forever since I felt that way! 💕

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